Wednesday, December 1, 2021

First Germophobic Dog Speaks Out




Mr. Clean lives with the Thompson family in Daly City, CA, but he is not your average family dog.  Sure, he loves a good bone as much as the next dog and has never turned down a trip to the P-A-R-K, but unlike his peers, he also spends most of his waking hours cleaning the family home from top to bottom.

"Maybe it's because I'm a Virgo," Mr. Clean told the Rotting Onion, "but I can't tolerate filth.  The Thompson's are busy people, so I decided to take matters into my own paws."

Mrs. Thompson feels nothing but pride over her beloved canine.  "Mr. Clean's the best.  With both of us working full-time and two small children to raise, the house chores do get neglected.  Mr. Clean always picks up the slack.  He does such a good job on the floors, licking and licking until they shine. The same with the dishes and the bathtub!  He also helps us put things away, which is a big job for him because he can only take one item in his mouth at a time."

Said Mr. Thompson, "We hit the Jackpot with Mr. Clean.  If we had to pay a house cleaner, it would cost us a bundle.   To be sure, he's not perfect.  When he makes the beds, it's a little sloppy and let's just say I'm glad he only cleans out the refrigerator once a month, but in general, he does a bang up job!"

Kayla, the Thompson's seven year old, had this to say about her four-legged friend.  "He takes a bubble bath with me every single night.  Then, he takes another one with my little brother.  He won't get in bed until he's helped me pick up my dirty laundry from the floor and put it in the basket.  He's my very best friend."

The Thompson's neighbors have been impressed by Mr. Clean's spotless appearance and flowery scent, even on the muddiest of days.  "Thank you," Mr. Clean always replies.  "I take great pride in my personal hygiene.  I don't know if you've noticed, but my teeth are pearly white because I brush three times per day."

As much as he is beloved by his human companions, Mr. Clean is not very popular among the neighborhood dogs, who consider him neurotic and just plain weird.  Although he is all too aware of their judgments and gossip, Mr. Clean holds his head up high.  "Since I was a puppy, I've always wanted to distinguish myself in some way, to accomplish something out of the ordinary.   Today, I work for the Thompson's and who knows?  Maybe someday I'll make it all the way to the White House!"



Written by Diana Shapiro
Photo Courtesy of petmd.com

No comments:

Post a Comment