Tuesday, May 10, 2011

President Obama From Another Planet?

Washington D.C.  

Donald Trump has  launched an investigation today into the possibility that President Obama might be an alien from outer space. 
Although the President has produced a birth certificate to prove that he, in fact, was born in Hawaii, nowhere on the certificate does it say that he was born here on Earth.  Though the odds of there being a place called Hawaii on another planet appear slim, Mr. Trump has placed investigators on all seven of the other planets that share our solar system to research the matter.

"I have people all over this solar system," claims Trump, "and I speak with them regularly. Well, to be honest, I've lost touch with most of them, but my guy on Mars says he can't believe what he's seeing."

Trump has been criticized for putting human lives at risk in order to conduct this interplanetary investigation.  Mercury has no atmosphere, and temperatures averaging 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Venus is even hotter, with average temperatures of 863 degrees.  The four outer planets are known as gas giants and do not even have solid surfaces on which to set foot.  "Work is not supposed to be easy," responds Trump, "that's why it's called work."

Trump claims that if Obama was, in fact, born on Earth, his birth certificate would have indicated as much.  "He may be hiding something, and I sincerely hope I'm wrong.  I want to be wrong.  In fact, you wouldn't believe just how happy I would be to be wrong about this."

Donald Trump appeared on The View this morning to discuss the investigation.  Predictably, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the show's only Republican host, expressed support for Trump's position, while the other four women, led by Barbara Walters, surrounded Trump and took turns pinching his love handles, pulling his hair, and tickling under his arms.

President Obama has been slow to produce evidence to counter Trump's accusation.  In fact, it has been discovered that the president's driver's license and passport also suspiciously fail to mention his planet of origin.  This news has even the Democrats worried.  On the other hand, the First Lady has stood by her husband unfailingly and with good humor,  "Hey, if he does turn out to be Mork, I'll just change my name to Mindy."

   The President addressed supporters this morning with his signature smile.  "Apparently, Donald Trump and his right-wing extremist friends have finally lost their minds.  They are setting me up, forcing me to prove something which can not, need not be proven.  Come on, guys.  We don't have time for this silliness.  Let's get back to work.  Nanoo Nanoo."

Written by Diana Shapiro
Photo courtesy of www.cedmagic.com  Thank you!