Saturday, May 18, 2013

Teenage Couple Has Never Met

Photo of boys cropped together with Photoshop
Santa Rosa, CA  and Fremont, CA

Sam Blescoe, 16 has been dating his boyfriend, Daniel Mendoza, 15, for one year.  The boys live one hundred miles away from each other and attend different schools.  What's more,  Sam and Daniel have never actually met. 

"We text each other every thirty minutes or so," reports Sam.  "I always know what class Daniel is in and when he goes to the toilet, he texts me either #1 or #2."

The boys have developed a special coding system to make text messaging quick and unobtrusive. "WM stands for wardrobe malfunction," explains Daniel.  Then we get more specific.  WM 1 is pants too short, WM 2 means crocs with socks...So for example, if Sam texts me, "Rob WM 5," I know he's telling me that his classmate Robert has got a moose knuckle.  That means Rob's pants are too tight in the crotch and you can see things you shouldn't be able to see."

The boys also have codes to describe the cafeteria food.  "'LE" means lunch looks edible," Sam explains.  "LG" means lunch looks gross.  LG1 means soggy pizza.  LG2 means overcooked vegetables.  This is not to be confused with LG#2 which means lunch is so gross I had to run to the bathroom!"

In this manner, the boys are able to communicate expediently throughout the day using as few actual words as possible.  Does the constant text messaging interfere with school? "Actually," claims Daniel, "because I've had to memorize so many codes, school seems easy by comparison.  I learned all the state capitols really fast.  There's only fifty of them as compared to over five hundred codes I had to memorize with Sam."

Along with live chatting, Facebook and Skype, the boys continue texting all evening until someone types in "zzz," the code for sleep.

Surprisingly, both sets of parents strongly support the constant text messaging, both in and out of school.  Linda Mendoza, Daniel's mother, reports, "I keep encouraging the boys to learn a few hundred more codes.  It's good for their developing brains."  Len Blescoe, Sam's father, had this to say about his son's constant text messaging.  "There are a lot of benefits to this elaborate coding system.  For one thing, the boys don't drink or smoke weed like some of their friends because their minds need to be as sharp as possible.  One wrong digit could mean the difference between 'I love you' and 'I curse you and all your ancestors.'" 

After school, the boys have more communication options, including live chat, Facebook and Skype.  "Skype is cool because we can talk over the computer line and see each other on video at the same time!" exclaims Daniel.  Even Daniel's parents are excited about Skype.  "For the boys' anniversary," reports Mrs. Mendoza, "we threw a party together with the Blescoes over Skype.  In fact, we had such a good time that we might all "get together" for Christmas!"

For Daniel's upcoming sixteenth birthday, the boys have something very special planned.  "We're going to get dressed up and go out to California Pizza Kitchen, our favorite restaurant.  There's one near both of us."  Will it be lonely spending his birthday eating alone in a restaurant?  "Oh, I won't be alone," replies Daniel.  "We'll be texting and sending each other pictures of our food.  We might even hold hands (that's 'hh') out in public, which is kind of daring for two gay kids." 

The Rotting Onion wishes Sam and Daniel all the best and suggests that they meet in person at least once before their wedding day.

Written by Diana Shapiro
Photo of Ugly Betty characters courtesy of

1 comment: