Friday, November 25, 2016

Trump Family Dog Moves to White House in January

Cupcake Trump 
New York, NY

To celebrate their recent victory, Donald and Melania Trump adopted  "Cupcake," a mixed Terrier puppy last week, who will supersede Bo, the Obamas' handsome Portuguese Water Dog, as White House mascot and companion.

Bo Obama
Melania told reporters that "Donald picked out and named Cupcake" and that she "had wanted a Rottweiler" but ceded to her husband because "his eyes filled with tears when he saw Cupcake at the shelter in her little pink ribbons."

"That's right," reported President Elect Trump.  "People don't realize how sensitive I am.  I took one look at Cupcake and melted."

Cupcake has quickly found her way into the hearts of her new parents.  "She sits on my lap while I watch Saturday Night Live and Rachel Madow," said President Elect Trump.  "I've been crying a lot lately because of all the people criticizing and making fun of me.  Cupcake cheers me up, because she loves me unconditionally...I can even share my deepest, tenderest feelings regarding White Nationalism and Male Supremacy, and unlike everyone else, she doesn't give me any flack.  I've been longing for someone who sees how great I am, someone who worships me, whose whole world revolves around me.  I thought being President would fill that emotional gap, but truthfully, if Cupcake had come into my life earlier, I may not have run in the first place."

Melania expressed similar enthusiasm about the new family member.  "One of the things I most appreciate about Cupcake is that she never barks orders at me, like 'Melania, make my dinner!, Melania, iron my clothes!'  She treats me like a human being and she never, ever grabs me where she shouldn't.  I finally feel like I have some respect in this family."

Written by Diana Shapiro
Photo of Cupcake courtesy of
Photo of Bo courtesy of

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