In breaking news, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has joined the Republican primary race. In explaining his late entrance, Rudolph stated that with all the obfuscation offered by the current candidates, he can surely shed light on the issues facing America today. In fact, his ability to shed light is the reason Santa first hired him (and his luminous nose) as a beacon to guide his sleigh on that fateful Christmas night over seventy years ago.
