U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has apprehended the dangerous criminal, Teodora Mendoza Ramirez, who has been living illegally in California for over thirty years. In addition to breaking immigration laws, Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez received a ticket for jaywalking in 1997. Several years later, in 2001, she was arrested for selling hand-sewn cortes and huipiles (traditional Guatemalan attire) to neighbors without a license. Oakland residents can finally rest easy, knowing that she is behind bars.
Clearly a threat to public safety, Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez has no defense against the charges against her except that she "never meant any harm" and is "deeply sorry" for her mistakes. In the case of her illegal business operations, she claims she "just needed a little extra money" to throw a small high school graduation party for her grandson. "He is the first in our family to get past the sixth grade. The rest of us had to work in the fields to help our families." No records exist proving that Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez and her family members did not attend school, and her story is most likely a plea for sympathy and leniency in her upcoming court hearing.
After searching for her for almost three months, ICE agents finally located Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez in her kitchen where she appeared to be making homemade tortillas for her family. "She was hiding in plain sight," said Officer Dick Fayse, who made the arrest. "An impressive strategy, just the kind you'd expect from a criminal mind like hers." Officer Fayse was celebrated as a hero when he returned to ICE headquarters with the dangerous suspect in handcuffs.
Vicente Cruz Pablo, Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez's next door neighbor, was shocked when he heard the news of her arrest. "I never expected it from her. She seemed like such a nice lady. She went to church three times a week...I didn't think she was the kind of person to jaywalk and operate an illegal business. What is this world coming to?" Mysteriously, when asked his opinion on her flagrant disrespect for U.S. immigration laws, Mr. Cruz Pablo retreated into his apartment with no further comment.
Now that Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez has been arrested, Oakland residents feel safer in their homes. "Yep, everyone can finally relax now, " commented Officer Fayse. "ICE has got the situation under control."
President Trump tweeted about the arrest, congratulating Officer Fayse and warning the public that there are many more dangerous illegal immigrant criminals, just like Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez, out there. He reminded citizens to think twice before voting for a 'Soft-on-Crime' Democrat in the June mid-term elections. "If so-called sanctuary cities like Oakland and San Francisco continue to protect people like Teodora Mendoza Ramirez, we shouldn't feel sorry for them when illegal sales of cortes and huipiles drive honest, licensed, clothing manufacturers out of business!"
Written by Diana Shapiro
Photo courtesy of pinterest
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