Easter Bunny May Not Be Deemed an Essential Worker

Hole in the Ground, Easter Island
April 9, 2020

As April 12 approaches, the Easter Bunny is busy laying colored eggs with the hope of delivering them to children everywhere.  However, it remains to be seen whether her work will be considered "essential" in the time of coronavirus.

Jacinda Ardern

As of April 9, only one world leader, Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand, has declared the Easter Bunny an essential worker.  In spite of the importance to the world's children, other heads of state have been silent on this crucial matter.  In an exclusive interview, The Rotting Onion visited with the Easter Bunny on Easter Island, while she busily laid colored eggs that she hopes will not spoil.

"I didn't have an easy start in life," said the Easter Bunny.  "Imagine.  I was the only rabbit in the world who laid eggs.  Everywhere I went, other bunnies stared  and pointed at me.  Some even called me a 'freak.'  But that all ended when I landed a job as the Easter Bunny."

From that point on, she became the most celebrated rabbit among rabbits.  "It was amazing.  Instead of looking down on me, all of a sudden, everyone wanted my autograph.  I signed celery sticks, carrots, you name it!"

Now, after many years of faithful service, the Easter Bunny may not have enough work to pay the rent on her hole in the ground.  "The problem is," she said, "that I upgraded to a nicer hole a few years ago.  I felt I needed a little more space, and I was making enough money to justify it."  Now, with her job security up in the air, she may be forced to downgrade.  "It all depends on how many Easter eggs New Zealand commissions.  And what other world leaders decide."

With only three days to go until Easter, the Easter Bunny urges all of us to put pressure on our national leaders to declare her work "eggsential".



Written by Diana Shapiro
Photos courtesy of cnn.com and partycity.com