Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Donald Trump: "Deeply Misunderstood"

Washington D.C.

In a press conference this morning, Donald Trump complained of being "deeply misunderstood" by the American people, and stated that "if you would just get to know me, you'd see that  I'm a real pussycat."  The Rotting Onion did some research into the matter and found that the President has indeed been misread and misinterpreted, mostly by competing fake newspapers (with a liberal bent), who have portrayed him as a heartless tyrant when, in fact, he is a God-fearing, humble and kind-hearted family man.
Here are some examples of gross mistreatment of President Trump by the liberal media, reinterpreted based on new evidence from mysterious reliable sources.  The Rotting Onion sincerely hopes that the liberal newspapers will reconsider their harsh and unfounded treatment of the President now that the truth has finally emerged.

10/2/16-Misunderstood by the fake news liberal media as an obscene gesture, Trump expounds on his favorite breakfast item, waffles with artificial maple syrup, to a cheering crowd of Leggo and Aunt Jemima investors, shouting "Waffles are number one!" Protesters, who carried signs such as "Oatmeal Forever," and "Pancakes Matter," were welcome at the event, although everyone knew they were plants by the Democratic Party.


11/1/16-Misunderstood by the fake news liberal media as an expression of discomfort, Donald Trump seriously considers the words of a young college student expressing her concern over his views on violence against women, reproductive rights, and equal pay.  "Thank you," said Trump , "I finally understand how patriarchy works, and how I would never be where I am today if I weren't a wealthy, white man  with a huge inheritance."

11/5/16-Misunderstood by the fake news liberal media as a description of the size of the family jewels, Trump explains how small he feels when people criticize him for his looks, personality, political views or alleged nefarious intentions.  "People don't know this about me, but I'm actually a sensitive guy," said Trump. "Please watch what you say, because I don't want to spend too many more afternoons crying in my therapist's office."

12/19/16-Misunderstood by the fake news liberal media as a show of  rage, Trump discusses his passion for the New England Patriots.  "They're going to go all the way!," he shouted, as Security officers   began to push screaming Atlanta Falcons fans out the door.  "Stop   that!," said  an impassioned Trump.  "We have to learn to    appreciate our differences and live together in harmony."



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