Republican Diet Deficient in Insoluble Fiber



Georgetown University Hospital
Washington D.C.

Romney suffering from
of a low fiber diet

  


Obama smiles after bulk-
forming kale salad


.  



    

House Cats Claim Media Discrimination

Cats Rally for Media Inclusion

Hollywood, CA 

House cats gathered in front of Universal Studios today in a peaceful rally against media discrimination. 

Pig Latin Interpreter Can't Keep Up

 

Akash Kumar, UN Pig Latin Interpreter

New York, NY

At 9, Akash Kumar is the youngest interpreter employed at the United Nations.  He holds a very important post interpreting between English and Pig Latin.  As such, Akash plays a vital role in fostering improved relations between the English speaking world and the Pig Latin speaking world.  Such communication is increasingly important given the vital role that pigs play in today's society.

Can't Sleep? It Could Be Your Cat.

Chicago, IL 

 

Cosmo prevents his human companion,
Noah Hope, from falling asleep.

Cats have now surpassed depression, anxiety, and chronic stress as the leading cause of insomnia.  A recent nationwide poll found that cat owners average 4.9 hours of sleep per night, slightly less than those who suffer from depression, anxiety or chronic stress.  Predictably, those who boast both cats and mental health concerns fare the worst by far, averaging only -2.7 hours per night.

Children Questioned in Case of Missing Grandma

Beverly Kaye, 74

Louisville, KY

Brian Kaye, 10, and his sister Anna, 7, of Louisville, KY, were held for questioning regarding possible wrongdoing in the case of their missing 74 year old grandmother.

Male Ladybugs Speak Out

Madrid, Spain

After centuries of silence, male ladybugs are finally speaking out about the humiliation of their species name.  They maintain that it has been an uphill battle for them to be taken seriously as the rugged, virile creatures they are.  Instead, they are seen as dainty, feminine, and cute, an insult to their male sensibilities.

Strict Vegetarian Makes Exception for Jell-O Brand Gelatin

Oakland, CA

Jennifer Rilke of Oakland, California is a strict vegetarian.  In fact, she is part of a small minority of vegetarians, known as vegans, who consume no animal products at all.  Today, Jennifer has publicly admitted to surreptitiously consuming Jell-O brand gelatin for at least two years.  Gelatin is a known meat by-product.