Underage Shoplifter Admits to "No-No"

Caught with hot banana

El Cerrito, CA

Lily Garibaldo (2) has earned the dubious honor of being the youngest shoplifter ever  to be arrested at Trader Bill's Grocery Store in El Cerrito, CA.  Lily entered Trader Bill's with her father at approximately 12 p.m. yesterday.  At about 12:10 p.m., surveillance cameras caught Lily brazenly taking a banana off the shelf, peeling it, and eating it.

Republican Diet Deficient in Insoluble Fiber



Georgetown University Hospital
Washington D.C.

Romney suffering from
of a low fiber diet

  


Obama smiles after bulk-
forming kale salad


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House Cats Claim Media Discrimination

Cats Rally for Media Inclusion

Hollywood, CA 

House cats gathered in front of Universal Studios today in a peaceful rally against media discrimination. 

Pig Latin Interpreter Can't Keep Up

 

Akash Kumar, UN Pig Latin Interpreter

New York, NY

At 9, Akash Kumar is the youngest interpreter employed at the United Nations.  He holds a very important post interpreting between English and Pig Latin.  As such, Akash plays a vital role in fostering improved relations between the English speaking world and the Pig Latin speaking world.  Such communication is increasingly important given the vital role that pigs play in today's society.

Can't Sleep? It Could Be Your Cat.

Chicago, IL 

 

Cosmo prevents his human companion,
Noah Hope, from falling asleep.

Cats have now surpassed depression, anxiety, and chronic stress as the leading cause of insomnia.  A recent nationwide poll found that cat owners average 4.9 hours of sleep per night, slightly less than those who suffer from depression, anxiety or chronic stress.  Predictably, those who boast both cats and mental health concerns fare the worst by far, averaging only -2.7 hours per night.

Children Questioned in Case of Missing Grandma

Beverly Kaye, 74

Louisville, KY

Brian Kaye, 10, and his sister Anna, 7, of Louisville, KY, were held for questioning regarding possible wrongdoing in the case of their missing 74 year old grandmother.