Dangerous Criminal Finally Apprehended

Oakland, CA

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has apprehended the dangerous criminal, Teodora Mendoza Ramirez, who has been living illegally in California for over thirty years.  In addition to breaking immigration laws, Mrs. Mendoza Ramirez received a ticket for jaywalking in 1997.  Several years later, in 2001, she was arrested for selling hand-sewn cortes and huipiles (traditional Guatemalan attire) to neighbors without a license.  Oakland residents can finally rest easy, knowing that she is behind bars.

House Husband Dissatisfied with Monthly Allowance

Berkeley, CA

Scott Reed, house husband in West Berkeley, complains that his wife, Linda has been shortchanging him on his monthly allowance.  “Back in 2009, I lost my job at Down-and Up Burger.  Rather than look for some other dead-end job, I decided to stay home and take care of the house.”  At that point, Linda took over paying for food, rent, and bills. 

Overpopulation Problem Fuels Anti-Baby Sentiment World-Wide

There are close to 7 billion human beings on earth today, and experts project that there may be up to 10.5 billion in 2050.  

Population growth is one of the biggest challenges facing our world today.   The world population has doubled since 1965, and as a result, parking spaces are fewer and farther between, lines are longer at grocery stores worldwide, and it is nearly impossible to hail a cab.  As frustration levels rise, anti-baby sentiment is increasing.

United Flight Attendant Slaps Passenger Who Refused to Eat His Vegetables

Taipei, Taiwan

Alotta Greens Warns Passenger Before

Slapping Him Across the Face

In an incident that has startled and appalled United customers worldwide, Senior United Flight Attendant, Alotta Greens, slapped six-year old passenger, Billy Bianchi, for refusing to eat his vegetables during a non-stop flight from New York to Taipei last night. 

Trump' Appoints The Riddler, The Joker and The Penguin to Top Positions

Washington D.C.

Violating ethics codes regarding the appointment of well-known television villains to important government positions, Donald Trump has appointed Batman's worst enemies to major roles in Washington. 

Donald Trump: "Deeply Misunderstood"

Washington D.C.

In a press conference this morning, Donald Trump complained of being "deeply misunderstood" by the American people, and stated that "if you would just get to know me, you'd see that  I'm a real pussycat."  The Rotting Onion did some research into the matter and found that the President has indeed been misread and misinterpreted, mostly by competing fake newspapers (with a liberal bent), who have portrayed him as a heartless tyrant when, in fact, he is a God-fearing, humble and kind-hearted family man.

Exclusive Interview with Kellyanne Conway

February 15, 2017

In an intimate and exclusive interview with the Rotting Onion, Kellyanne Conway gets real about her personal life.

RO:  Good morning, Kellyanne.

KAC: Good morning, and a good, fine morning it is.  I'm fine, too. Thank you for asking.

RO: Uh...yes, you're welcome.  Kellyanne, tell us a little about your childhood.  I understand you grew up in New Jersey.